Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Collection of Absurd Side Quests

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece of unpredictable absurdity. This article highlights some of the most hilariously bizarre side quests encountered during my Bohemian adventures. No main storyline spoilers here, just pure, unadulterated quirky fun.

Table of Contents

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

The quaint town of Želejov, boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? They lack funds, an instrument, and any discernible artistic vision.

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Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a series of increasingly ridiculous errands. He steals a lute (damaging his reputation), only to have the strings snapped, requiring new ones made from sheep intestines. Further complications arise as the bards owe the innkeeper and refuse to work off their debt, deeming it beneath their "genius."

After countless errands, the troubadours finally have everything they need. Their reward? A soul-crushingly boring song about Henry's mundane tasks. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I laugh uncontrollably.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They require crafting by the inebriated hunter, Vojtěch, who's found himself in a tree after a wolf encounter. The intended quest involves rescuing him, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. However, I chose a different path.

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I carried the disgruntled Vojtěch to the nearest tavern. His reaction? Less than thrilled. He refused further assistance and limped away, our next encounter resulting in a less-than-enthusiastic offer of a view from behind his shack.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

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The Polovtsians, responsible for Henry's family's tragedy, are found causing trouble in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipates as I find them surprisingly friendly. Soon, I'm matchmaking, drinking, and singing with them.

Then, a talking dog interrupts, launching into a philosophical lecture about life's purpose. Inspired (or perhaps drunk), I accept his challenge to swim across a lake, resulting in a hilarious, albeit successful, swim.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

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After mastering stealth, a single botched heist turns me into Bohemia's most wanted. My mistake? Not removing incriminating accessories and the lingering smell of my crime. The attention to detail is astounding.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

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A stolen horse, a sleeping gypsy horse trader, and a long wait for dawn resulted in a hilarious and ultimately successful horse sale, but not before witnessing Mikolaj's leisurely breakfast routine.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

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These are just a few examples of the game's unique charm. Every action, no matter how small, has unexpected consequences, creating a truly unforgettable and hilarious open-world RPG experience. Bohemia awaits!